The Dragon Master Lance[Finished]

[lance]

The Dragon Master

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NAME

[/font]
Lance

AGE[/font]
Thirty

GENDER[/font]
Male

* SEXUALITY[/font]
heterosexual,

ORIGIN[/font]
Although Lance spends most of his time at the pokemon league hq or traveling around the Kanto or Johto Regions he was not born in the pokemon league. Lance along with his relative Clair both grew up in the life style around Blackthorn city. Lance being curious as a kid often visited the cave known as Dragons Den in his youth to see all the mysteriousness wonders of the dragon pokemon. Now at age thirty he resides in a house near the leagues front gates willing to take on any and all coming challenges No mater the size of the challenge.

* OCCUPATION[/font]
Residing Champion for the Johto Region.

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* PERSONALITY (+)[/font]
Brave:Lance has always been on the brave side when it comes to just about anything. Weither it be the rage of a red gyarados, Infiltrating Team Rockets base, or even taking one their grunts 10 to one Lance would always step up to the challenge no matter the stipulations.

Focused:Lance has always been a man of focus. It can be either a battle, mission, friends, family or anything else Lance always focused on the important task at hand. Lance can also seem to focus on multiple things at once and is never focused to one task at a time.

Determined: Once Lance Sets his mind to something it is very hard to make him think otherwise. it could be trying to defend his title as champion trying to make friends or even the battle in love anything that lance puts his
mind to he will not stop until he passes or fails at that goal.

Positive:Lance has always been a positive person weither it be towards Humans or Pokemon. Lance has always been one to compliment them on their ability. complimenting Pokemon by telling them how good their never give up attitude is. For Trainers it was how well they seemed to have bonded with their Pokemon over the time he or she got it to its final evolution.

Caring:Lance is a trainer who has always raised his Pokemon with love. He always cares for his Pokemon and always thinks about his Pokemon's feelings first. Lance always states if he ever runs into a trainer who has not treat his Pokemon with care he states they need to treat them with the proper respect that they deserve.


* PERSONALITY (-)[/font]
Competitive:One of the few bad traits of Lance is that he is way to competitive. Sure its ok to be Somewhat competitive but Lance seems to Enjoy a fight where he gets or has to use all six of his Pokemon he gets a rather thrill of fighting a worthy challenger.

Cocky:After Each successful Championship Reign Lance is interviewed by someone from the Golden City Radio show even if he dose not mean to Lance seems to put his opponent down adding Insult to Injury even if he dose not mean to during the interview. The camera always gets the better of him.

Attention Hog:Even when saving Pokemon with the help of someone Lance always seems to like to take all the credit for himself. Not that he means to but he seems to like the stuff it brings for saving the pkmn world and dosent like to share it even if the person who helped deserves it.

dose not back down:Even though The Decks seem stacked against Lance. He never seems to lighten up. Lance is a person who will fight until his last Pokemon faints and will not accept defeat in battle so easily even when the odds are not very well in his favor as people like to put it he will not back down.

Loayl to the Pokemon League: Even with how long he has been champion and people segesting its time for him to let someone else take his place. Lance stays Loyal to the Pokemon League and plans on staying Loyal for the years to come as he plans on sticking with the Pokemon league for a long time.

* LIKES + DISLIKES[/font]
Likes:His Pokemon,Challenges,Dragons,His Relatives,The Elite 4,Being Champion,Being part of the elite 4,Traveling,Exploring and The Pokemon League.

Dislikes:Team Rocket, Team Magma,Team Aqua Team Galatic,Pepole who use pokemon for evil and Silver
* WEAKNESS + STRENGTHS[/font]
Strengths:Good Battler,Kind and Confident

Weaknesses:Emotions get to him getting frustrated and losing control during the heat of battle

* SKILLS[/font]
Willing to Accept Defeat:Lance is one of those trainers that knows when he is beat. though it eats him up on the Inside Lance Knows when he is beaten. He is always willing to accept defeat and improve to hopefully beat his opponent the next time they cross paths in the world of Pokemon.

Excelent Trainer:Lance is not the Pokemon Champion Of johto for nothing. Lance trained his Pokemon day in and day out upping their skills and strategy's knowing that he needed to be ready to face any and all challenges and sense this was the Pokemon league they wouldnt be pushovers.

PARTY[/font]


History:Gyarados was caught at The Lake of Rage Durring the Time Team rocket had a weird Transmission going on. Magickarp where being force to Evolve and This Gyarados was no exception it was forced to Evolve from a Magickarp and started going on a rampage. Lance was able to calm the Gyarados down and explained he would do everything he could to stop team rocket. Touched By Lance's Words Gyarados Joined Lance and After Team Rockets Down Fall he joined Lance out of respect and is now a valuable member of his team.

Personality:Like Most Gyarados's this one still has a bit of a temper that can easily be set off. Due to the bond he and Lance Share Lance is able to help Gyarados Keep his cool in battle and only attack upon command. Gyarados is one of the Pokemon That Highly respects Lance Due to the Help Lance gave it at The Lake of Rage when it was going on a Uter Rampage.

-Signature Move:Hyper Beam



History:Dragonite was the first Pokemon Lance ever got when he was preparing to become the Johto League champion. Of course he got it as a Dratini. He got it from the elder once he finally passed their exam that ever trainer from blackthorn must past before given their first Dragon Pokemon. From that day he trained his Dratini night and day until it finally became a Dragonite though all of lances hard work.

Personality:Lance's First Dragonite is one that highly respects him next to Gyarados. He highly respects Lance do to the bond they gained as He trained him from a Dratin all the way up to a Dragonite with hard work. Dragonite also admires Lance for his dedication to the Pokemon league and works to help him in any way possible.

-Signature Move:Outrage



History:Lance's 2nd Dragonite was Raised from A Dratini he hatched from an egg. He got the egg from his fist Dragonite it seemed Dragonite had been seeing a female Dragonite Lance solded him at first for not telling him but than congratulated him and promised to raise his son well. Upon Hatching Dratin looked at Lance as "Father" and did everything in his power to help lance witch would cause him eventually to evolve into a dragonite.

Personality:Unlike his Father This Dragonite is a bit on they shy side when it comes to girls. Though both lance and his Father Dragonite have tried helping him in the manor it seemed not to work. it works to his advantage though as if any trainer tries using attract on him it will not work because he is trying to get over his shyness.

-Signature Move:Thunder



History:During a visit to Mt.Moon Lance uncovered a very old fossil. Wondering what it was Lance took the fossil to pewter city to get the fossil revived as they moved their sense Cinnabar's Destruction. Upon returning later on Lance found out that it was an Aerodactyl but it was going on a rampage among t he Area. With the help of his Pokemon Lance Subdued and Captured the flying dragon Pokemon known as Aerodactyl.

Personality:Aerodactyl is a bit on the aggressive side to say the least. Although he always listens to lance's orders he takes pleasure in going full force to utterly destroy his opponent. Due to be revived from being killed a long time ago it is understandable though sometimes Aerodactyl takes things a bit to far. Though he has not be with Lance long he respects Lance for his strong command over Dragon type Pokemon Aerodactyl is one of the heavy hiters of Lance's team.

-Signature Move:Rock Slide



History:Lance Revived Charizard when it was just a charmander. The Charmander seemed to be going out of control it seemed to be from its special ability blaze i gives the fire user more power but it loses control. With the help of Gyarados Lance was able to subdue the Charmander and Capture it. From that day The charmander slowly evolved into a Charizard and is one of Lances speediest Pokemon on his team.

Personality:Charizard is the only one of lance's team that can get cocky. The Charizard Will stay calm and keep fighting but there is one flaw. When ever Charizard begins to gain the uperhand on the opponet he tends to get cocky. Though he has not sliped up yet there is always a first time for everything.

-Signature Move:Air Slash



History:Lance's Third and Final Dragonite was found in Dragon's Den. Apparently Something enraged the Dragonite to make it go on a rampage it was scarying away all future Dragon trainers away from the area. Lance took it upon himself to stop it. with the help of his other 5 Dragons Lance defeated and captured The Dragonite making it his last and very good addition to his team. This Dragonite is a balnce between all 3 of the Dragonite's Lance has.

Personality:Lance's Final Dragonite is a bit on the hyper side. Although outside of battle he loves to play around with other Pokemon he dose have a seuriours side. That side is released when Lance has an opponent ready to take him on and will help lance in any way possible to beat his opponent no matter what.

-Signature Move:Flamethrower.

* INVENTORY[/font]

• Key to Champions Room
  
• Poke gear
  
• Dragon Tm's

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* HISTORY
Lance was born in black thorn city though he never knew his Mother or Father. Reason why he didnt know his Mother is because she died shortly after he was born due to some sickness. The Reason he didnt know his father was because he ran away shortly after his mother died thinking they where cursed. The Only family he had left after those tragic events where his Cousin with she did not get to see much do to her running the gym and the elder of the dragon clan witch he was always busy training new Dragon Trainers for their Pokemon Quests.At Age 5 Lance was token into Dragons Den as the Elder took him under his wing to help mold him into a great Champion as he over hear lance saying how he wanted to become Pokemon League Champion. The Training was intense to say the least as the elder treated him just like he did any one of his students and not like someone related to the area. Lance would soon go though 6 years of viguiours training with little sleep the elder for the dragon clan was strict to say the least and that was putting it lightly.

at Age eleven Lance emerged from Dragons Den a New person ready to take on the Johto Region and Become its Champion. As A reward he was Reward with a Dratini witch would later on become his first Dragonite. Lance than shortly after left and went on to take on the Johto Region, Along the Way Lance would meet many friends and many foes along with much others as he aimed towards one goal and that was to become the champion of the Pokemon league and he planed on making sure that vision became a reality no matter what he had to go though.

at age 20 Lance would have gained all the 8 Badges and have passed all the way though victory Road and into the Pokemon League. Later Lance would have met and defeated the 4 members of the Elite 4 Will Koga Burno and Karen earning each of their respects along the way witch earning the respect of the 4 members of the elite 4 was not easy. After conquering the Elite 4 Lance would have been enrined in the hall of fame but his quest would end here. he would get a call at blackthorn from the Pokemon league that they are short a champion. after hearing their propersition Lance accepted and Became Johto's Champion.

Lance would soon begin to understand the high responsibility of being the Pokemon league champion. Over time Lance would lose a few times but he still would keep growing stronger and take on any challenger that came his way.

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* OOC ALIAS[/font]
Michael

* HOW YOU FOUND US[/font]
Advertisement

* RP EXAMPLE
This is for new members trying to apply for a canon, as we would know how our current members would rp.
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[RED]

OKAY, lets start at the top and work our way through the corrections, shall we?

You need Lance icons. It's really easy to find them or use some kind of photo editing site to crop a picture or whatever. Add some funky glitter font if you so desire. Rehost anything you use from places like livejournal, ect on www.tinypic.com to avoid the torches and pitchforks.

The first four parts of the general information are good, although three of them are missing the asterisks that go before the words: name, age and gender. Weird.

Origin is generally... okay, although Blackthorn City does not have a capitalized T in thorn, just be aware of that. Although it brings me to the grammatical point that you do not have the need to capitalize random words in your sentences. You capitalize the beginning of the sentence and any names or specific places/items/things/ect.

Although Lance Spends Most of his Time at the Pokemon League HQ or traveling around The Kanto or Johto Regions he was not born in the Pokemon League.

Now, we break this down. You have to ask yourself what needs to be capitalized and what doesn't. Well, you can go with the obvious: the first word of a sentence. Then ask yourself if there is any proper nouns in the sentence. So anything specific. Lance is specific, most is not. Eventually, without any other grammatical corrections, you'll end up with something like:

Although Lance spends most of his time at the Pokémon League HQ or traveling around the Kanto or Johto regions, he was not born in the Pokémon League.

See that comma after the word Johto? Yeah, we'll get into that later.

The part about owning a house near the League is pretty pointless seeing as it asks for information on the homeland and not his current residence. The challenge statements were also irrelevant to what was asked.

Blahblah, occupation is fine.

Personality draws another grammar lesson: commas. Arceus knows I love my commas. Their basic function is to separate things. They're sorta like a pause in a sentence.

It can be either a battle mission freinds family or anything else

So basically instead of having this big chunk of your sentence looking like they're supposed to go together in one big mess (battlemissionfriendsfamily or anything else is pretty much a list without commas). Place a comma after battle, mission, friends (oh lol i just did it for you) and you'll end up with something a lot better:

It can either be a battle, mission, friends, family or anything else

You should spell numbers out, especially numbers ranging between zero and ten.

even when the odds are not very well in his favor

Above is just self explanatory English correction to make it flow better.

So yeah... also, loyalty is not a negative trait. I can't remember the word you're looking for because it is too late at night to come up with big words.

His dislikes are incredibly redundant. You could have summed up all those teams with like 'evil teams' or something. idfk.

will not accept defeat in battle so easily

and

Willing to Accept Defeat:Lance is one of those trainers that knows when he is beat. though it eats him up on the Inside Lance Knows when he is beaten. He is always willing to accept defeat and improve to hopefully beat his opponent the next time they cross paths in the world of Pokemon.

seem to conflict each other. One says he'll willingly accept defeat and the other contradicts it. Wut.

Charizard is the only one of lance's team that can get cocky. The Charizard Will stay calm and keep fighting but there is one flaw. When ever Charizard begins to gain the uperhand on the opponet he tends to get cocky.

Yeah, we get it. He gets cocky.

The Reason he didnt know his father was because he ran away shortly after his mother died thinking they where cursed.

The continuity is shocking. His father would just run off and abandon his son because he ran off? It would be understandable if he didn't want to pay child support but a curse? eh, sounds more like one of those "wah fml my family is dead"

Lance would soon go though 6 years of viguiours training with no sleep or water the elder for the dragon clan was strict to say the least and that was putting it lightly.

I know this is Pokémon and all... but lack of sleep and water pretty much equates death within the first month. God forbid I question how the dehydrated insomniac survived for six years.

But whatever, don't forget to proofread and use spellcheck

/Eh, Black + White is a literate forum. You don't need to post three thousand words, but you do need to have .... eeehh.... knowledge from English class?

I don't know; it's almost four in the morning.


CITRUSSAIDICOULDCRITIQUETHISPLZ.

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[lance]

modifyed and i know sorry about that ^^;

[LANCELOT-SAMA!]

DENIED!

sorry, but even though Fire (thankies btw! ^^) had pointed out what you did wrong there still are some things that are incorrect & since this is a canon's app that you've failed to do correctly i have to reject this application completely, i'm sorry. even though it's denied i'll still point out what you did wrong:

• to begin with you really need to use correct grammar & spelling on this site. spellcheck is your best friend. 8C
  

• Loayl to the Pokemon League: Even with how long he has been champion and people segesting its time for him to let someone else take his place. Lance stays Loyal to the Pokemon League and plans on staying Loyal for the years to come as he plans on sticking with the Pokemon league for a long time.

  
  umm i don't really see this as a negative because the way it's described. it sounds more positive to me & even if you move to positive the positive negative traits will be uneven. did you mean he's too loyal or something? well you should've made it more clear then. it's a little late now.
  

• Weaknesses:Emotions get to him getting frustrated and losing control during the heat of battle

  
  ok, this only lists two weaknesses that Lance has & you needed at least three for each which you've failed to do so. also the wording makes it a bit confusing.
  

• Willing to Accept Defeat:Lance is one of those trainers that knows when he is beat. though it eats him up on the Inside Lance Knows when he is beaten. He is always willing to accept defeat and improve to hopefully beat his opponent the next time they cross paths in the world of Pokemon.

  
  umm is that really a skill? it sounds more like a trait or something but doesn't seem to fit an actual skill like maybe if someone specializes in some kind of medical department they'd be well rounded with medicines, etc.
  

Overalll the reason i've rejected Lance from you was the poor grammar & lack of spelling & use of spell check. Both i & orange have constructed the whole system for claiming these canons so that canons will be given to active & good role players & i don't think someone that constantly has sentences & working that doesn't make sense would fit that as well as the reasons of not filling the app correctly. it's seriously not anything personal but this is DENIED.

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