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Post by orochi on Jun 26, 2010 13:19:20 GMT -5
[/size][/center]
* NAME
[/font] Saku * AGE[/font] 15 * GENDER[/font] Female * SEXUALITY[/font] straight * RACE[/font] replica * ORIGIN[/font] Solrock * OCCUPATION[/font] though she is 15 years old, she is a librarian
* PERSONALITY (+)[/font] - Passionate: Saku is quite passionate for a Solrock replica, but only if she wants to be.
- Protective: Saku is extremely protective of her twin brother Bo, and will often resort to violence if the need arises.
- Sarcastic: Saku is very sarcastic, even for her age, it can drive anyone near her when listening to often scold her.
* PERSONALITY (-)[/font] - Fury: When she get's furious, Saku tends to shut out other emotions and will not stop unless her brother asks her to do so.
- Violent: Saku tends to solve almost everything with violence, as opposed to her twin brother's way of thinking, which suits her just fine.
* LIKES + DISLIKES[/font] LIKES - Her brother
- reading
- the sun and moon
- people that she has taken a liking to
DISLIKES - water and grass type pokemon
- other replicas
- immortals
* WEAKNESS + STRENGTHS[/font] WEAKNESSES - Being used
- being late to work
STRENGTHS - Protective of her twin brother
- headstrong
* SKILLS[/font] both she and her twin brother share a bond of trust that cannot be broken very easily. Saku's protective nature of her twin brother is noted to shut out more complex emotions as joy and anger, but when the need arises, Saku resorts to an untold fury and becomes extremely violent, even if she doesn't mean to harm Bo, her sarcasm in front of him makes the both of them laugh. * PARTY[/font] Only her brother, whom she watches over * INVENTORY[/font] N/A
* FACE CLAIM[/font] [b].hack//[/b] - Sakubo(Saku)[/b]* OOC ALIAS[/font] Yamata-No-Orochi * HOW YOU FOUND US[/font] ad in Eternal Cosmos. [/blockquote][/blockquote] {Let me know what is needed to be edited via PM or by posting below. NO bad criticism} |
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Post by RICHIE on Jun 28, 2010 6:11:45 GMT -5
Okay I won't be able to accept this application until a good amount of things are changed.
1. I've played .hack//G.U. before so I can see a resemblance/similarities between your character application and the actual Sakubo character persona from .hack// game they first appear in. Actually, it's too similar. You're portraying your character (who also happens to have the same name(s) as the character(s) in the game) as an overprotective, aggressive twin sister. Now in the game, from what I remember, from .hack//G.U., Saku was violent too. If you wanted to play as a canon character from another game, you'd probably have a better chance of getting accepted on a .hack site.
—— So just from what I've said there, I suggest you rework the profile so that it doesn't feel like you're actually trying to make a copy of the Sakubo from .hack//G.U.
C'mon, this rule was already told to you by Orange. Staff shouldn't have to tell you again, especially when it comes to this kind of stuff.. B(
Please don't plagiarize.
2. I'm assuming you want to make twins since you said that her brother Bo was also traveling with her. If you're making twins (which I think are the only kinds of relationships allowed in character creations where you could have two persona on one account) you should include information about both siblings and not just one of the two. That's so that people can know what kind of personality and traits the twins have when they're together.
3. "Sarcastic: Saku is very sarcastic, even for her age, it can drive anyone near her when listening to often scold her." Sarcastic is normally a negative trait and judging from the description you gave for it, it should be placed under negative personality traits.
4. Also don't forget to rename your display name to your character's name(s) so people know who you role-play without having to fish through the records or characters.
All in all, this profile needs to be reworked and once it's complete to the point where it doesn't resemble the actual .hack characters' personalities (that applies to the names too) a staff member will recheck this profile for approval.
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