[ of browned petals and broken wings ] ; riley

[MATTHEW]

[ ALL BECAUSE OF YOU, I BELIEVE IN ANGELS ]

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&. NOT THE KIND WITH WINGS, NO, NOT THE KIND WITH HALOS .&

The house had succumbed to darkness in his absence. So it was that when he quietly opened the door and gingerly walked inside and closed it behind him that his eyes took a moment to adjust. He blinked at his surroundings –a weary smile tugging at his lips, marveling that just four or five months before they had been struggling to find a place to sleep. Now they had some tiny living quarters of sorts –it wasn’t much, he didn’t have a room of his own, only two grubby sofas served as their beds and a small kitchen, table, seats, and a door that led to a bathroom. His eyes roamed the length of the room, stopping when they saw the curled up sleeping form of Riley. Despite himself the sight of his sister made his spirits lift a little –there were times where he wondered if it was all really worth it, going through this hell, but once glance at his sister and he knew he didn’t have a choice. He was doing this for her, she deserved as much from him. She deserved much better from him, but he was trying his best –he promised himself he’d always do his best for her.

It was then that he grew aware of the condition of his body, normally it didn’t worry him –he had no reason, no space to think of such things, but with Riley so close he couldn’t help but feel ashamed. He needed to get the scent off him –the smell of sweating bodies and alcohol, the smell of old fools and pitiless men. His mouth suddenly felt dry as he went through the events of the night again in his mind and the only thing stopping him from running to the bathroom was the fact that Riley was there and asleep –he couldn’t wake her up. So instead he tip-toed towards the bathroom’s door and quietly nudged it open, easing himself inside and shutting it down behind him. He didn’t even notice he was holding his breath until he let it out –slow and even. He fumbled in the darkness of the bathroom until he found the light switch, smiling yet again when the sharp light illuminated every corner of the bathroom. Baths were something he would have rarely gotten before this home, now he could take one every night and get that cursed smell off his skin.

He slid off his clothes and turned on the water, simply watching it flow for a moment before getting under the flow of it. Then he merely scrubbed himself, trying everything to get rid of the smell, scrubbing his arms and chest so hard that they acquired a reddish tinge to them -wishing he could scrub everything off, that he could be clean enough, that he could get rid of everything if he just got rid of the smell. He’d never be clean enough, though, he’d need to scrub everything off for that, skin, muscle, organs, tendons, everything, he’d need to scrub everything until he reached the bones and even the bones wouldn’t be clean, not even their marrow –not until only dust remained, because no matter how often he washed himself the memories would remain. Without giving it a second thought he even picked up the shampoo and scrubbed his hair, running his fingers through it until it was all white foam, then slowly washing it off –feeling the clean dampness of it as a blessing –trying very hard not to remember who had pulled at it, who had run their fingers through it.

The replica stayed under the flow of the water even after he had finished the actual bathing –simply enjoying the feel of the water on his skin. He always loved water, he loved swimming too –it was like a whole different world underwater, a world without gravity, without laws, without trouble. Just the sway of a river’s current, just the dappled sunlight hitting the bottom of a pool, just the salty sting on his eyes. He felt the drops hitting his face, his shoulders, his arms –he’d gladly spend the night away under the flow, but the water bill would haunt him for the rest of his life, even then he was fearing what would happen if it turned out to be too expensive –about his only relief every time he returned from one of those nights was to expect the feel of a shower, to clean away every pore in his body. What would happen if he couldn’t expect that anymore? Not to mention Riley –she needed the simple comfort of a bath. How could she get a damned bath if he was wasting all the water?

And just like that he ceased the flow of it and climbed out of the shower.

He dried himself with a towel he had just purchased barely two days ago and picked up clothes he had stolen from one of his rich client’s house. A man whose house was so large Matthew had been afraid he’d get lost when he was taken there. He could only think that he’d give up his hand if he could get Riley only a portion of what that mansion was. The man had so much he doubted he had even noticed what Matt had stolen –clothes, plates, glasses, food, shoes, socks, sheets, pillows and a huge wad of cash that he had only managed to spent but a portion of. He was careful with money –made sure to spend it on things he needed, so far he had only spent it on Riley. He had gotten a pretty dress, one she had mentioned one day she would love to have and a pair of comfortable sneakers that were just her size –he had despised seeing his sibling with two pair of grubby things that were either three sizes to small or five too big, especially since she loved running around so much.

Every article of clothing he had stolen from the man’s house was big on either of the siblings, but they served their purpose all the same. Riley could easily cut up a shirt and tie it around her skinny frame –use it as a dress, or maybe just a pair or pajamas and he didn’t care if the things were too big for him, at least they were there. Of course he would never wear them when he was meeting with a client, they weren’t fond of the scruffy look –he had to wear tight fitting jeans, run gel through his hair and made sure his shirt had no holes nor a single stain. He could only hope his boyish looks lasted –it was all they had left after all, but he was already growing –his face was soon to loose the roundness and soon his voice would follow. It was only a downhill spiral from there and then they would really hit rock bottom. How was he to feed them if he couldn’t get any clients? But he couldn’t think of that, not now –he was much too tired to make any decisions.

He had just slid into some loose running pants and was about to throw a shirt over him when movement at the door alerted him that someone was wide awake. “Riley?” he asked, peering into the opening of the bathroom’s entrance.

&. THE KIND THAT BRINGS YOU HOME WHEN HOME BECOMES A STRANGE PLACE .&

» riley ;tagged
»» 1,229 ;words
»»» the good left undone - rise against ;music
»»»» meh powerplayed riley kinda... matty's around 10-11 ;says micka

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[RILEY]

(I was dying for our moment to arrive)

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It wasn't a dream about flowers and little animals. It wasn't those dreams that make you smile when you woke up. The ones were you could say "I got a pony and then I rode it through the meadow, and put flowers in it's hair." all content and happy. Riley hadn't remember having one of those dreams lately. She remembered pain, hungry, hopelessness, and failure. Yet an eight year old Riley laid in her bed, trying to fight the dream that was over talking her. She could watch as everything unfolded in her dream. A young girl with blond hair and bright blue eyes was running. Her feet beat relentlessly against the hard paved road, and her breath came in grunts and clouds of silver mist. She glanced behind herself every so often, her tiny blue eyes shivering with free. Riley shouted at the girl running to turn back to face the monster. It was easier for the usually timid Latias to shout orders at herself in a dream over taking action. Yet she watched, slowly chewing on her bottom lip.

It was when the girl was finally cornered against a stone brick wall. She was whimpering as the thing that was chasing her slowly came closer. Riley from above couldn't see it, didn't know what it was. It scared her to think something unseen could haunt her like so. Riley would never come to a conclusion at just what it was. It would always be a hidden fragment of her mind, closing it's up to hopefully never scare her again. "Run run please." the young girl mumbled in her sleep, clutching at the thin white bed sheet that was placed on her bed. As the thing drew nearer to the little girl, Riley woke with a start. She didn't jump up for her bed like a normal morning, happy and cheerful to see her brother asleep/awake in bed. She stayed down in her bed, pushing herself further into the bed covers. She didn't want to be here at the moment, something tugging at the flight response she had. The darkness scared her, and even her brother wasn't in the bed that was so close to hers. She debated running over to his bed and jumping in, just so she could maybe get his scent and feel ten times stronger. Nope, wasn't going to happen tonight.

Then she heard the faint sound of a running bath. She noticed that the dim light was on, and she let out a sigh of relief. matty was back she thought to herself her eyes closed and a tiny smile placed on her face. She forced herself into a sitting position after a couple minutes past. She fumbled around with her hands. placing them in her lap then moving them a couple seconds later only to place them back in her lap. "I should go see." she muttered to herself, lowering her head a little. She looked at the ground, seeing the darkness that engulfed the floor. The blonde hair girl slowly started to chew on her bottom lip again. The young girl stood up on her bed, not completely balanced as she shifted to and fro on the mattress. She nodded her head and picked out a little spot on the floor that looked less likely to kill her. Clenching her tiny fists and letting out a little sigh she nodded her head and jumped. If it wasn't for her latias nature she probably would have fallen flat on her face or at least made a really loud thump. Riley landed on a spot really close to her exact spot, and the loudest it sounded like was a a couple feathers landing on the ground. She had a satisfied smirk on her face as she tired to peer into the bathroom.

"Riley." she heard him call at to her. With a sudden burst of energy, the little latais burst into the bathroom, and wrapped her arms around his waist, enclosing her older brother in a tight hug. "I was so scared." she manged to sniffle, her head up against her naked chest. She looked up at him with her blue eyes, that were once bright and cheerily, yet now slowly fading with the excitement that they once held. "please don't leave me." she added, nodding slightly. "kay?" she asked with a tiny smile on her face. She closed her eyes, not letting go of her brother. Never, ever, ever.

now I'm running further just to feel alive *

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[MATTHEW]

[ IN FIELDS WERE NOTHING GREW BUT WEEDS ]

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&. I FOUND A FLOWER AT MY FEET, BENDING THERE IN MY DIRECTION .&

He wasn’t completely sure what to expect as he peered through the door, but he could sense Riley –he could always tell where she was. But once he did sense her he could also tell other things –there was a strange mixture of feelings in his sibling, scared and excited. The two emotions seemed to be fighting each other for command like two snarling dogs battling for a scrap of meat. That turmoil was enough to make his hand tighten on the door’s knob and pull it open just a little –preparing himself to call after his sister again, ask her what was wrong, comfort her. Before he could speak however a tight little ball of excitement burst through the doors towards him and wrapped both arms firmly around his waist, pressing her head against his bare chest. Despite himself he smiled warmly at the sight of his blond little sibling –she was so glad to see him it made a big fat ball of guilt tighten in his throat and for a minute all possible words left him. What could he say? That he was sorry for arriving so late? But he wasn’t sorry, if he didn’t do his job there would be money to feed Riley –how could he be sorry for keeping his sister fed and happy? He could always apologize for waking her up if he did but he wasn’t sorry for that either –he was very, very glad to have his little sister right here and awake.

Instead of words he wrapped his arms around her in a hug, completely at home just having Riley there. "I was so scared," she said, four words, but they were enough to make Matthew stiffen –make his stomach drop to the floor. I was so scared, he couldn’t help but remember it all –the blood, the bones, the sounds, the ripped flesh. His hands tightened around Riley’s arms and in a mechanic, almost jerky movement pulled her away, willing himself to push the memories back, to just concentrate on Riley she was scared, he couldn’t just allow her sister to count sheep and comfort herself –no, that’s what he was there for to make everything better. The replica forced himself to meet Riley’s big blue eyes and offer her a small warm smile, meant to make her feel better just because her big brother was there –willing himself to keep the smile real despite the sudden memories that flashed through his eyes like some sick horror movie. "Please don't leave me," she continued, unwilling to take one step away from him. "Kay?"

He smiled again, a sad little thing. The Latios couldn’t help but feel guilty –was this maybe reference to their parents? Parents whom in Riley’s mind abandoned them? He forced himself to shake the thoughts of, forced himself to only think of Riley and what could possibly be wrong with her. “I’d never leave you, Riles,” he said softly, laying his hand on her cheek, her forehead –wondering if she was healthy. All that running around in the streets couldn’t be doing very good things to her health, is that why she looked so pale? Was she sick? “You know that, how would your big brother do that?” he asked with a small smile “Then there would be no one to get that fatso from bothering you about stolen food, right?” A genuine smile tugged at his lips now –Riley was always stealing stuff and getting in trouble, a few of the storekeepers have even declared a sort of war on his sibling and they would refuse to sell the two anything even if they had money which meant that they would have to steal it anyway. It was hard to completely keep two psychic dragons from stealing some fruit from you, especially since they could move so fast.

He dropped to one knew in front of his sister in order to be able to meet her eyes –taking in everything, her face, eyes, hair –still checking for signs of any illness, wondering if maybe he should have her take some vitamins and if she refused to he could always just smash it inside her food, she wouldn’t notice then. Maybe she just needed more vegetables? Ah, but he hated the things, he could only stand carrots himself –how was he to make Riley eat them if he himself didn’t want to? “What’s wrong?” he asked finally after long moments of looking into Riley’s eyes. “You look pale…” he noted grimly “Are you hungry? Did you eat?” he paused again to lay a hand on his sister’s cheek “I left you food at the fridge, like I always do –did you eat that?” he continued.

If she didn’t tell him what was wrong the pre-teen might just have a heart attack.

&. I WRAPPED A HAND AROUND ITS STEM, I PULLED UNTIL THE ROOTS GAVE IN .&

» riley ;tagged
»» 805 ;words
»»» the good left undone - rise against ;music
»»»» such a worrywart ;-; ;says micka

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[RILEY]

(I was dying for our moment to arrive)

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The young latias replica willingly let her older brother fuss over her. There was days when she hated how much he worried about her, hated every little thing he said to her that made her seem so much weaker then him. She wanted to scream and yell on those days, telling him that she wasn't just his baby sister, that she was a latias replica, one that could easily take care of herself. Then again, it was on days like this where she knew that wasn't the case. Where Riley would be lost without her brother, that all she did was really put up a brave front, so most of the people around her wouldn't worry. Just a little smile, and a cute giggle would stop most of the worrying that was done about her. Tonight though, she cherished how her brother was fussing, checking for any sign of a sickness. She wouldn't lie to herself, it was getting colder outside and she did think she was getting a stuffy nose. Her brother didn't need to know though.

She almost held on to his chest as he tried to lower himself to meet her gaze, so that they two siblings could look at each other eye to eye. Her brother had recently gotten a growth spurt in Riley's mind, making him a giant towering over the little girl (again in her mind). She wasn't very fond of the thought of him continuing to grow, while she stayed short. Maybe he would get sooo tall that he wouldn't need his younger sister anymore. Those thoughts were the ones that keep her up at night, tossing and turning, and not getting the sleep little eight year old girls needed. But she let him get down on one knee, only to embrace him around the neck, hugging him tightly. "I know, I just don't ever want you to leave me." she said, letting go of him and drawing herself back a bit to look at him square in the face. Her bottom lip started to make a pouting face as he mentioned the fatso. Her blue eyes suddenly changed to a more violent "I hate you, go die " look.

"He is just a fat meanie." she said angrily, huffing a little as she stuck her head up in the air. She still had a pouting face on when she glanced over momentarily at her brother. She shrugged slightly, her face melting back into her happy, cheerful look. She smiled slightly when she caught his half smile peeking from his lips. She took one of her fingers, and lightly pushed up on the corner of his face, making him half smile just a little bit more. "You need to smile more brother. I don't like that sad look that always gets you down." she sighed, dropping her hand down to her side. It seemed just recently that he had been sadder then usually. She figured it was his job that keep him up so late, and away for such a long time. She always tried to be with him when he primped himself up for whatever nonsense job he wouldn't tell her about. His schedule was never the same though. It was like he was purposely trying to keep her from not knowing. He never let her go help him.

But there wasn't much she could do besides sit and home and try to get some shut eye in. Most of the nights she stayed up, looking at the ceiling, thinking of a better day. A day where her and her brother sat in the sunshine, next to them a happy couple, a mother and father who looked after them. Her older brother didn't seem so old in her memories, he seemed like a kid. Just like Riley was now. One that ran around and had fun, one that wasn't always trying to protect his younger sister. "You've been so. . ." the young girl started, staring down at her bare feet. Her feet currently were not in the best condition. Cuts and bruises lined the edges. She ran around barefoot sometimes, not wanting to dirty her newish pair of shoes that were too big for her. Of course she wore them out of the house when he brother watched her. She always quickly took them off and hide them, so she didn't ruin them. It wasn't the smartest thing to do though. Riley let out a heavy hearted sigh and looked back at her brother, forcing a brave little smile to appear on her face. The young blonde haired girl didn't want to finish her sentence. She was sure her brother had enough to worry about.

now I'm running further just to feel alive *

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[MATTHEW]

[ IN FIELDS WERE NOTHING GREW BUT WEEDS ]

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&. I FOUND A FLOWER AT MY FEET, BENDING THERE IN MY DIRECTION .&

He couldn’t help but find himself thinking of all the things he could get his sister if he had money. He could get her more clothes instead of the old rags she usually wore, he could get her shoes and socks, he could take her to restaurants, he could buy her toys, he could get her so many things and she would never have to go hungry again. If things were tough normally he had to skip eating for a whole day in order to feed Riley, if things were bad neither of them would be able to eat for a day, but that was slowly changing now. They had a place to live now besides a cardboard box, they could get showers every day, they could have a grimy sleeping place, they had a kitchen to cook in. They had all they needed to make their life just a tad easier, step by painful step they were getting there, soon he could get Riley her own room and he would get his own room and he’d get a real job, one that was more honorable, one that didn’t sicken him so much.

"I know, I just don't ever want you to leave me," she said, struggling to hold on to him and Matt couldn’t help but smile. He met her eyes –looked into those blue depths, for some reason when he picked up on his sister’s emotions like this he felt like he was intruding. He believed she deserved her privacy and she shouldn’t be communicating her every feeling like this, but he couldn’t help it. As a Latios he shared a connection with every emotion of everyone that surrounded him –as Latias’ brother, however, the connection went much deeper. The blood that ran through his veins always demanded of him that he remain in tune to his sister –he could pick up Riley anywhere, even in a room full of girls identical to her he would always be able to tell who was his sister by merely giving a tiny nudge with his mind –her emotions were familiar, perhaps they came in more strongly simply because they were brother and sister, their common heritage allowing them to share a deeper bond. Maybe he simply shared this connection with her because of all they had gone through together, running the streets, running from home, running from a murderer.

But of one thing he was sure of –he would never leave Riley. He might have to go “work” everyday or every night, but he always returned to his sister’s side. She was the only thing he had left, not only because she was his sister but because he couldn’t bring himself to open up to anyone. He had seen his parent’s eyes grow glassy and dead, he had seen things that made his outlook on humanity, on all of ziel change –how could he bring himself to trust again after what had been done to him? He could only trust Riley, because he knew she would never intend him any harm and she needed his protection. He couldn’t let her down. “I’ll never leave you, Riley,” he said softly, laying a hand on his sister’s cheek and simply letting it stay there, it was a gesture made so that she knew he wasn’t lying, he wanted her to believe him just as much as he believed the words himself “That won’t change no matter how tired or sick I am,” he said, “I need my little sister –I always will,” he smiled, a bleak thing because his words were completely true. What would he do without Riley?

She spoke again but this time he really wasn’t paying much attention to her words, instead he was inspecting her closely –noting grimly that she needed a bath, could he talk her into one? Or would she rather stay here, standing in the bathroom simply talking in her cute little voice. However, his attention was forced to what she was saying when she pushed at his face with her fingertips –stretching the corners of his lips into a lopsided smile. "You need to smile more, brother. I don't like that sad look that always gets you down," she said and he couldn’t help but sobering up. Sometimes he caught himself wishing Riley remembered it –the murder, the blood, the panic, everything just so he could talk about it. He wanted to ask how she felt, if she felt the same way he did, if she thought the same things he did, if she saw the same things he did. He wanted to see someone troubled by the very thought just as he was so maybe he could ask and know and talk and learn. But he would cease that train of thought before it could really develop –why would he wish something like that on his sister? But he wanted to pour his soul out so desperately, he just wanted someone he could confide in –tell them how it felt. But he couldn’t do that. Not with Riley, not with anyone. What would she think of him if she knew what he wished on her?

His mouth was dry, his throat clenched and he decided he better not speak –he simply met Riley’s gaze and wondered what she saw –a strong older brother who would always catch her when she fell or a dirty old boy who would do just about anything for a scrap of meat? "You've been so. . ." she started again and this time he looked up –eyes wide, begging her to finish that sentence. Been so what? What was he being like? Was he missing something obvious? Was he being mean to her without realizing? Was she hurt? Had he hurt her? Maybe she saw something? Arceus, she couldn’t know anything about his job –what would she think of him if she did? Would she even understand that he had no choice? That half of the time he wanted nothing but to be away and the other half he just gritted his teeth and bared it for her sake?

His gaze dropped to the floor –suddenly his hands were shaking and he didn’t even know why –without thinking he grabbed his own hand to still it then realized what he was looking at.

“Sweet Arceus, Riley! What happaned?” he asked as he looked down at her feet. “You’ll get sick if you walk around like that,” he finally concluded, not allowing his sister to protest he picked her up and set her down on the toilet (the lid was down of course). He kneeled before her and gently ran his fingers towards the cuts –using his psychic powers to do most of the inspecting for him, that way he needn’t hurt her when inspecting the wounds. Finally, his inspection done he lifted Riley again and set her down gently inside the shower. “Sit on the ledge,” he murmured as he picked up a towel and soaked it underneath the warm water before bringing it back to her feet and slowly scrubbing away at the cuts. “You’re not wearing any shoes…” he murmured, trying to keep any hint of his hurt out of his voice “don’t you like the ones I got you?”

&. I WRAPPED A HAND AROUND ITS STEM, I PULLED UNTIL THE ROOTS GAVE IN .&

» riley ;tagged
»» 1214 ;words
»»» the good left undone - rise against ;music
»»»» you hurt him you ass ;-; ;says micka

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